Looking Back and Ahead

When I started journal writing years ago, I didn't realize it would become a habit that would produce over forty in number. They mean a lot to me, but sometime in the future I will have to decide what to do with many of them, especially the ones from high school and college. And yet I love reading the parts when my parents were alive and well. It is weird to return to days when I was young and naive, and yet bold at times. It's all there - the good, the bad, and the ugly through all the different stages of my life. The journals also reveal a lot of history. Sometimes I would write about particular events since the journals cover 1963-2019. 

What happened to my plans?

Hi there!

 Once the strain of daily nursing home visits lifted, I thought I would be able to carve out more time for art and other projects. Well, it hasn't happened. Life keeps happening with family issues, grandkids, household errands, unexpected funerals, aging, and more. And then there's just me not feeling very motivated. 

I pass this desk countless times throughout 

the day. But it sits...unopened, waiting for me to gather my thoughts for letter writing. Why is it so hard to compose a letter? I guess maybe I'm out of the habit.

I have a much easier time writing in my journal. Usually late in the evening I will record what took place during the day at the desk in my bedroom closet. 

One thing is for sure. I can't go very long without writing. Even blogging must be returned to after a few days. 

Here's one reason to put off getting things done. 

Kids know how to live in the moment. They know how to act silly. They know how to laugh. I could learn a lot from this little guy.

Memoir

 

 

I picked up this journal book several years ago because of the divisions. I thought one day I would like to tell my life story within its pages. That one day arrived this winter. It has been harder than I imagined, but also very rewarding.

 

It's a work in progress. Good thing I bought two of these  journal books...one brown, one black. Writings and photos in this first journal will reveal the early years of my life, spanning childhood through college. The other one(if I ever get around to it)will have labels for Dyersburg, Atoka, and Drummonds. 

 

 

Whether or not the book is ever read by family members doesn't really matter to me. I have enjoyed reviewing my life and putting facts, anecdotes, and reminiscences down on paper. It has made me realize anew that I have had a wonderful life...a unique journey that's all my own.

 

Everybody's life is special. Each person should record their autobiography. It's a fascinating endeavor.    

Got Time?

Sometimes the need to write is very strong. Also the desire to be here...the need to connect with those of you who read my entries. I realize my life is ordinary, and yet at the same time I know it is extraordinary. We are all unique, interesting, and special. Each life has a wonderful beginning, middle, and end...a journey of importance.

While in Walgreens yesterday to get my Shingles shot, I noticed a journal like the one I'm using now. I decided to grab it rather than wait until I was at the end of my present one. Those three verbs on the removable advertising band are suitable for writers - think, create, record.

I am gathering pieces to start a new collage. On one torn piece of music there's a noteworthy quote.

To live in hearts we leave behind, is not to die. -Campbell

 

 

I enjoy collage as an art form. 

 

 

 

Well, time to close this entry and to wish you well on tomorrow's passage. Take time to think, create, and record.

 

Checking In

Over the weekend I pulled out my journal from 2001 and read what I had written on September 11th. That day in the classroom came back like it was yesterday. 

Here is that entry:

During the first hour of school Mrs. Newbill came over the intercom to tell us to stay inside the building for our recess periods. She mentioned pollution levels, asthma and breathing difficulties to explain her cancellation of outdoor playtime. At the time I did not know what had happened in America. It was not until 10:10 that I heard the awful news. I had dropped my students off at the library and stopped by the office to pick up Abacus tests.

I returned to my classroom and turned on the radio. Chilling reports about the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington.

Throughout the day I followed our schedule, the students unaware. Three girls were picked up by parents. The other students wondered why, but it was not revealed to them.

Once I was home television footage and reporting filled in the tragic events. AMERICA UNDER ATTACK was the headline on every main channel.

  

Yesterday I watched much of the moving memorial coverage on television and was inspired by all those courageous families who lost loved ones on that fateful day.  It caused me to be (and continues to make me) more appreciative of every person, activity, and moment.

My daughter and I were able to share this past Sunday afternoon by enjoying another tour of homes in Central Gardens. 

This house was the biggest and best.

 rear view

A lovely garden scene behind one of the homes.

There were six homes open to the public...each one full of character and style.

I came home to my own place, trying my best not to be jealous of all that I had seen.... archways,  designer kitchens, handsome furniture, gorgeous rugs, artwork, etc. Truthfully it was wonderful to visit, but I was happy to be back at my own address.   

To Write

Sometimes I wonder what will happen to my journals when I am gone. Whether they are saved by my children or not really won't matter, for it was the writing that brought me great solace through the years. There were times when I left certain things unsaid for fear someone would be hurt by what I had recorded. But most of the time I was frank and expressed my true feelings. Entries were a mix of serious, trivial, mundane, and momentous. When I'm in the mood, I read pages from the past and am amazed by how much I would have forgotten if it were not written down.  Since I've been keeping journals for so long, it has become a habit I can't seem to stop. 

Days Come and Go

I bought myself some new gel ink pens to brighten

up some of my journal entries.

Now to find the time to record.

Hope you are managing your time better than I am.